Read Between the Lines – No Pain No Gain – The Secret of Personal Growth Part 2

In Part 1 of this series, we considered the cliché, “No Pain No Gain”, on a more esoteric level.  In part 2, we pick up with the reference to Focus and Acceptance…

Focus

Most people find it difficult to focus their thoughts and ideas for any significant period of time. How about you? 

Try this experiment right now and use a wrist watch to time yourself:

• Take a moment to focus intently on your last vacation
• Visualize a memory from that holiday that really impacted you
• Choose a specific experience like the fresh seafood dinner on the first night or the view of the islands from yor balcony
• Now hold that memory in your mind’s eye  as long as you can 
• Hold that taste or image…make it real in your thoughts

….how long will you last before another thought bumps its way into your vacation?

I give it 7-8 seconds…and your mind will be off creating another thought process about feeding the dog before you go, or you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or that report you need to finish before 3:00pm, etc.

If you’ve been actively practicing the basic meditation techniques suggested in ‘Stop and Smell the Roses’, then your ability to extend thought focus should be increasing.  This ability will continue to increase with repeated practice.  Just as with regular physical exercise, you will start to ‘bulk up’ your mind by working it out and stretching its capacity. 

Focusing the mind can bring clarity to a situation which otherwise would be lost in cluttered thought. 

Acceptance

The other prime factor is acceptance.

A state of acceptance continues to be the most difficult aspect of the equation for me to achieve, and I’m betting there are some of you who have the same problem. 

Am I worthy?

As a victim of this questioning mindset for most of my life, I know how you feel.  Many people interviewed for this study cannot accept that they deserve whatever it is they desire.  To accept our good, we must be able to receive it. 

Usually, there has been too much limitation in people’s lives to allow for any investment of time in dreaming and imagining with intent.  This is especially true for men.  We think dreaming of a better life is an absolute waste of time.

Soon after meeting my current partner, she asked me to list my dream home, my dream job and my dream life.  Like any potential mate, she wanted to inquire as to my true goals and dreams.  

At the time, she was taking me on an uncomfortable journey because I had never allowed myself to seriously think about absolute success in that way.  After living hand-to-mouth for most of my adult life, I always thought hand-to-mouth. 

This state of affairs felt normal for me.  My thought processes were determined, ruled, and limited by my income.  I couldn’t allow myself to dream of these things because there was no way that future could be mine, so why bother?

We all become victims of our own perception of reality

Personal experience is often built upon a platform of limitation.  This platform is embedded at a very young age as the only possible foundation of expectations for our future.  “I’m not pretty enough,” or “I’m not rich enough”, or “I’m not worthy,” are the internal conversations that drive us in our interactions with the world.  I’ve been there!

This is why the person on the mystical path of self discovery and control, may venture into some very dark regions buried deep within themselves.  These deeply imbedded, core facets of our neural-net are often hard-wired, and they are not interested in releasing the control they exert upon your expectations. 

The impetuous emotions prefer to rule, but your Objective Observer should now be able to manage this rebellion, allowing you to respond differently. 

You must learn to identify those aspects of your self-concept which are holding you in their grasp.  The reality is you are in control of how you feel…or you can be.  This is an all-important step in the growth process. 

 Once exposed, these rebellious emotional reactions can be manipulated, conquered and vanquished.”

Write On!

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